a little carelessness goes a long way...
if i'd signed up and taken the physical proficiency test when i was applying for NIE i wouldn't be in this mess. now it's going to be alot more time and hassle to study to teach physical education, and like my aunt who spoke to the big shots told me "it's really based on your desire to be a PE teacher".
initially when i got the call informing me that i could not enter NIE specializing in PE, i just started blaming my prospective employers - "stooopid MOE go and offer me PE when i didn't even take the test and didn't even inform me that i had to take the darn test till it's too late". later on when my laywer aunt who has friends in the education line (the directors and such) told me it was NIE that was rather inflexible to my appeal i started blaming the school too - "so rigid! how can they do this! and i'm not the only case!"
but truth be told it was my own fault for overlooking that tiny blue underlined hyperlink on the application page that would've informed me to take the test before i could be eligible for entry. ARGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
now it's time to consider my options:
1. just go ahead and enter the teaching course this month, but doing biology instead
2. write in to apply to be a contract teacher for a year, hopefully they will hold my place in the course, take the physical test and enter uni next year studying PE
3. take a gap year, go work, take the test, enter uni next year - maybe by then i'll do smth else
4. continue screaming and pounding the table, maybe they'll feel my pain and let me (okay fine this option's not valid. quite tempting to do just that my manicured nails might suffer)
seriously option 3 would be fun, then i can do my coaching for my VJ netball juniors this year till next april without having to consider my uni schedule. sigh but i'll be a fool to let go of a scholarship too, and it's not that i detest teaching bio - i realised i've been thinking too much about the subject but in fact the main focus of the course would be the TEACHING. just that teaching PE feels totally different because it's not really academic and the reason why i wanted to do PE was the constant exposure i would have to sports. i mean the benefits of sports and games is something i sincerely believe in, not to mention it's fun and (i hope) enjoyable to teach. but what i failed to see was the need to look past the 4 year teaching bond that comes with the scholarship course - do i see myself teaching in the long term? what do i want to do after that?
somehow i don't like the idea of teaching for a year before going into uni, just to teach again for 4 years after that. what if i decide that teaching isn't my thing? or get bored of the whole education stint - it'll be 9 years of studying to be a teacher/actually teaching *pukes*. alright if i do take up this course now (option 1) it'll be 8 years of the above, just that it's bio not PE.
HOWNOWBROWNCOW! i'm talking myself into confusion....
anyway i had a chat with vee who could tell i was quite sad when i received the news from my aunt after she spoke to the asst. director guy who sent me the letter of appointment (i was so confused emotionally i wasn't sure if i was disappointed or just too tired to react - i think slightly disappointed but at least i knew the outcome of the appeal). so vee was telling me to think past the 4 year bond, that it would help my current situation decision making if i was clear about what i want to do. but more than that, whatever career move i make, there must be a purpose and not just going with the flow.. i tend to go with the flow, it's easier that way, think it's part of my lazy nature. NOT a good thing to be lazy - lazy until i forfeit my choices and desires. and vee said if i can't see past the 4 years in teaching, then trust God - to lead me where i will be happy doing His work. but whatever i do, i must have purpose, must have heart.
i have got some thinking to do, and i need to talk to my parents about my more current future, although i already have a slight suspicion on what the decision will be. i think this saga has made me reconsider what i really want, if sports is THAAAAT important to me. i would say it's a safer path to take, teaching PE, cuz sports is a definate interest of mine (so even if i detest teaching the fact that i'm immersed in sports would keep me going) BUT there are other ways to keep myself involved in sports, and in a useful manner. it's whether i want to go teaching at all (which i had initially jumped into since i thought i'd be teaching smth safely within my interests). it's a useful skill to learn, being a teacher, and there will be plenty of interaction with young people, plus it's a steady flow of youth to influence.
alright, all this thinking makes me hungry. update you all on my decision soon!
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