can't get it out of my head

Hey, hey, hey

Your lipstick stains on the front load of my left side brains
I knew I wouldn't forget you, and so I went and let you blow my mind
Your sweet moon beam, the smell of you in every single dream I dream
I knew when we collided, you're the one I have decided who's one of my kind

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know

Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do...tonight

the hard way

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

running on wet sand

went running w taariq - from tamp to bedok res! yea not that far but it felt good to stretch my legs and de-stress from another long day in school. it's a crappy feeling to dread going to school, yet you know you have to cuz there's just so much to do.

taariq came up with this awesome plan to help me with my marking! we're gonna stay out and mark like mad tmr, so i can clear my crazy piles of WS by this weekend and get them to do filing on monday heh... YES i'm so inspired! FINISH MARKING WOOOOOH!

hope i can practice my headstand tmr:/

8 more days to hols

2 days to physical proficiency test

countdown to hols begins

i am so tired. really hate bringing work home, but i must i must i must finish marking, clearing the books. because book-checking is coming soon. because i am trying to be a better teacher, responsible worker, hardworking and persevering. because i am trying to be blameless. but i am so tired. from the kids and the screaming and my blood pressure has definitely increased.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28-30

9 more days to june hols

beauty for ashes

beauty for ashes
a garment of praise for my heaviness
beauty for ashes
take this heart of stone and make it Yours, Yours

i delight myself in the Richest of Fare
trading all that i've had for all that is better
a garment of praise for my heaviness
You are the greatest taste
You're the richest of fare

(Psalm 63, Isaiah 61)

beauty for ashes - shane&shane 

 

burnt!!

You have never been in love,
Until you've seen the stars,
reflect in the resevoirs

And you have never been in love,
Until you've seen the dawn rise,
behind the home for the blind

Zee Avi is awesome!!! i like this song of hers, take a listen-

Kantoi (youtube link)

i'm slightly burnt from netball this morning, but it's a small price to pay for finally being able to touch a netball after so long!!! and it was great playing with my juniors too:) met the new batch of J1s too, gave them lots of senior-ish advice heheh.

talked to mel the other day over dinner and realised what an impact netball had in our lives, i mean the life skills and stuff. and just like my sec sch coach predicted, we appreciate all the tough trainings and shellings she gave us then. thanks, coach:)

GV 3rd row sucks

but the movie was awesome! whatever people say, robert downey jnr is cool ok! (or at least his character is rather charming) maybe i'm just a comic-to-movie sucker, but it's the only type of action films i enjoy watching. oh i like don cheadle too! didn't think he was the action movie type tho. anyway. watch till the post-credits ok!

week 8

this week was exam week! not particularly stressful because we're just invigilating and marking the scripts, but it's so tiring! like seriously, we gotta stay awake for 1.5 hours (no toilet break) just staring at the students. and that's after 3 hours of block marking in the morning... 

but i'm not complaining, cuz this means hols are coming soon!!!!! and that i don't have to rush syllabus like crazy anymore...

i'm playing netball tmr with my juniors at some free and easy carnival... i miss the sport, i miss playing:) caught up with my juniors recently and really wished i could've been there for their season this year :/  but well i'm glad we still get along fine and that their passion for netball hasn't dampened one bit! it's infectious, almost. thinking if i should join bedok training (the netball club mel's in) when their league season ends, but i dunno if i can commit... see how it goes!

hope i can wake up tmr, game's at 9am. after that it's shopping with nicole!! 

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

i think the most interesting part was how they made a baby look so... old. 

just watched it for the first time on my bro's hard disk, it makes me wanna read the original short story (might actually take me a shorter time to read it than watching the movie). it's by F. Scott Fitzgerald, i studied one of his books for A levels. he's an amazing American novelist who lived and wrote bout the jazz era (bout 1920s). he was a big time celebrity in his day and hard-core partygoer (with his wife, no less) but also a talented and importantly, a v hardworking writer. he kept editing his drafts so as to convey the most meaning in as short a phrase as possible, that's why i think he's so quotable. the stuff he writes are like easy to just skim thru, but then you wouldn't get the deeper meaning and emotion behind the dense lines. it's very subtle and EVERY word has reason.

ok enough lit geek. go read a book! 

DAY 3

its been 2 days since i got the news of my impending doom and i've sent out 1 SOS to my church people, discussed it personally with my parents and sister, complained to most of my colleagues esp those sitting near me, called LL numerous times to mope even though she was having her last 2 papers and now she's celebrating the end of exams. after reading all the encouraging SMSes and FB msges, listening to the support from everyone else other than those who determine my near future, and looking at the situation as objectively as possible... i'm feeling better la.

despite wanting to be incredibly unmotivated since i'm being 'rejected', i've been making effort to be as BLAMELESS as i humanly can. i guess it's really a rude awakening:/ and about making effort in class (where it is almost impossible for others to monitor), thankfully my conscience and compassion for the little monsters are pushing me thru.

right. time for this new leaf of a good girl to go to bed so i can be in sch EARLY;)

coping with disappointment

this is how i cope:

1. cry (which hasn't been successful. can't even get a proper tear to roll down)
2. call LL to complain
3. distract myself with music and FB
4. blog
5. sleep

i'd like to have distracted myself by doing something more productive but that would mean marking which reminds me of my disappointment at being a failure at my job.

daddy just asked me how my audience with the P went and i told him how hopeless it was. i'm more convinced than ever that I AM GOING TO LEAVE. it just sucks to leave on a bad note.

i admit, the feedback given touched on a pertinent issue. i admit it's a weakness and i have to change. but to pit it against all my other positive attributes and decide that i don't have what it takes?  i'm just terribly annoyed!! that it affects my future this way. and pissed at myself for crying whenever i talk or even think about it. i think its a mix of embarrassment and fear and anger. i always get offended when people speak against my character or attitude or family because i honestly have a good one. but i know, part of having good attitude is to take criticism as pointers to grow and change. so YES i shall exhibit good attitude by CHANGING for the better.

and that starts with sleeping NOW so i can wake early to mark books! yay.

headache

possible causes:

1. tiredness
2. marking
3. rejection
4. menses
5. all of the above

so the headache and no.5 makes me want to burst into tears spontaneously which makes me want to curl up in bed to sleep (no.1) which is annoying cuz i can't cuz i have to mark (no.2) which reminds me how incompetent i am in time management cuz i don't even have a full teacher load and i already suck which is the explanation given when no.3 happened. plus we all know how no.4 makes us feel, not to mention lowers immunity and coupled with no.1 i think an MC is coming soon. which wouldn't matter cuz i can't miss sch cuz its exam time and i have to drill and revise with the kids. which then reminds me again, of no.3 and how it shouldn't get in the way of me being a good teacher except it does!

ARGHHHHH.

sorry i know it sounds slightly confusing and i'm being vague, but i don't want to say anything until i carry out plan B against no.3, which was wonderfully conceived and crafted by my dad (white hair=experience in his case, and he has alot). so yay for daddy! hehe

ok back to being a responsible teacher and doing my marking now.