christmas/exam blues

christmas is coming!!!!!!! and so are my exams.. which is crazy cuz it means i'm studying thru the christmas prep. well, ok, supposed to be studying. i'm not covering much ground over the weekend! and did i mention this year our church is running a ridiculous number of christmas events/productions?!!!! which is awesome cuz of the opportunities for outreach, but it's also amazingly taxing on the limited pool of committed people. guess it's really a call for dependance on God. like seriously, ALL the youth leaders are unbelievably PACKED like CRAZY. exams, camps, internship, work, mission trips.. those less busy with external commitments have their hands and legs in the various christmas events, so no one is spared.

RARR i guess in busy times like this it's really essential to slow down and seize a quiet moment to align ourselves so that we don't get caught up with the activity. and the trick is to find that joy during the preparation itself... which is not always apparent when your brain is so saturated and you feel that there's NO TIME to practice :(  i suppose the joy doesn't come from the activity itself, but the purpose behind it. things are so much more worth it when it's meaningful. so yes FOCUS FOCUS on what truly matters -  and i wont feel so bogged down.

and YES i will study because my grades are my responsibility as a student and i'm not about to squander my parents' CPF money to live as a student if i'm not gonna do well (at least decently la). BOOOO studying is such a drag :/  it's my weakness la studying. i'm so unmotivated. i rmb going thru a whole depressed pep talk to myself like before Alevels, just to talk myself into mugging for exams and telling myself it's not too late. OK so EIRENE LEE IT'S NOT TOO LATE YOU CAN STUDY IN 7 DAYS AND TAKE YOUR 6 EXAM PAPERS IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT. peng told me a most encouraging thing which would make my self-motivational statement valid - he said "God can make 6 days more fruitful than 7 days." meaning that God is all-powerful and i should trust Him that despite me not devoting my entire life to studies, he can make my limited mugging time more fruitful than if i neglected all else. so yes, i shall trust that God wil help me to understand what i need to understand for my exams.... and it's not the end of the world yet.

post-recess week

accomplished:

- 2 computer lab reports!

- copied my timetable into my personal diary

- brainstormed (a little) on my lit essay

to be accomplished:

- lit essay for wed

-study for organic chem test next mon

-study for intro to bio test next tues

-jonah outline for sunday sch by thurs

-medley auditions for next sat

 

a hug is all you need at the end of a crazy day:)

Let's not get lost and cry on Sundays

We'll take it a step at a time

Hand in hand

silver lining appearing

PRAISE GOD!!!!

(there's no other way to say it..)

got a call from NTU for me to go down for an interview for bioscience!! WOOHOO i couldn't be more ecstatic!! i seriously thought i'd lost all chance to enter local uni.. thank God for the opportunity! 

and as i was trying to prepare for my interview, i checked my email and OH I PASSED MY PPT, like finally!!! even though it doesn't guarantee me a place anywhere it's just such a relief to have passed it after failing 3 times. it's valid for 2 years, so it does open up the PE option for me. YAY.

OKAY i wanna sleep early so i can be FRESH for my interview!!!

shall try and read up on some bio topics.. (now where are my bio notes?)

fresh start

it's about making the best of what i've been given. it's about being honest with myself and learning from my mistakes. it's about accepting the tough things that are said and making the change. 

it's gonna be a fresh start:)

running on wet sand

went running w taariq - from tamp to bedok res! yea not that far but it felt good to stretch my legs and de-stress from another long day in school. it's a crappy feeling to dread going to school, yet you know you have to cuz there's just so much to do.

taariq came up with this awesome plan to help me with my marking! we're gonna stay out and mark like mad tmr, so i can clear my crazy piles of WS by this weekend and get them to do filing on monday heh... YES i'm so inspired! FINISH MARKING WOOOOOH!

hope i can practice my headstand tmr:/

8 more days to hols

2 days to physical proficiency test

on MC

my mum was right. you can't go without enough rest and expect to be in the pink of health. i guess i need to be more responsible about taking care of myself! :/ 

sometimes my mum gives me advice which i tend to ignore, like "cut down your social activities, come home early and rest", but now i know i should heed advice coming from a true busy bee. i think my siblings n i inherited the "busy gene" from my mum, we all like to dip our hands into so many activities and have a hundred commitments. i hope we also inherited the ability to handle big projects and tons of stress from our dad! haha i know i got the "watch tv mindlessly" habit from him (prob to destress)

on other news, i failed my PPT (the PE test i took recently). sometimes i think they fail people on purpose so they have to take it a few times and pay more. but anyway it was a marked improvement! i passed every station at least, but i missed the passing grade by one. i'm actually pleasantly surprised cuz i thought i'd do worse, so i'm quite on about taking the May test. just that i need to schedule time to train for it!

k i'm gonna sleep early to prep for a long day at sch tmr! silly of me to wanna go back even tho i've MC for tmr too, but i feel bad for leaving my kids with funny relief teachers.

PPT

yupp, it's over! the physical proficiency test i've been fretting over these few weeks. results will be out in about 3-4 weeks time, but honestly i don't have a good feeling about it. don't think i did much better for the different stations as compared to the first time i took the test. already preparing to sign up for the next test in May, which is the last one i can take before they consider my application for NIE. if i fail the May test as well, i'll forgo PE and be a regular subject teacher :/

i actually enjoy teaching in the classroom, but i feel that studying PE is smth i would enjoy very much...

oh well. let's just hope and pray for the best!

thanks ya'll who have been so supportive - trying desperately to teach me cartwheels, playing badminton, asking about the test... so touching even my kor jon asked how it went! AWWW (he hardly asks me stuff, i usually volunteer info and push my daily stories down his ears haha)

meanwhile, i'll stick to my weekly exercise routine of FB hehe

i'm so nervous

my Physical Proficiency Test is exactly a week away and i'm far from being able to do a decent cartwheel or handstand. like seriously i'm gonna make a fool out of myself again:(

managed to wake at 8plus today and went for a slow jog cuz my right hamstring and butt's been aching since yings tried to drill me on the kicking technique for the cartwheel. i was starting to think it was a strain when the pain didn't go away after warming up/jogging/cooling down. but it suddenly got better after i stretched it out a few times, so yay!

i'm gonna ask amaryllis to help me hold my legs so i can practice my handstand. i'm considering doing that instead of a cartwheel cuz i can't seem to get the twist of the hands and body which is needed for handstand. hopefully i don't have to hold my upside down position too long:/

oh. and i don't think i'm staying in hall.