christmas/exam blues

christmas is coming!!!!!!! and so are my exams.. which is crazy cuz it means i'm studying thru the christmas prep. well, ok, supposed to be studying. i'm not covering much ground over the weekend! and did i mention this year our church is running a ridiculous number of christmas events/productions?!!!! which is awesome cuz of the opportunities for outreach, but it's also amazingly taxing on the limited pool of committed people. guess it's really a call for dependance on God. like seriously, ALL the youth leaders are unbelievably PACKED like CRAZY. exams, camps, internship, work, mission trips.. those less busy with external commitments have their hands and legs in the various christmas events, so no one is spared.

RARR i guess in busy times like this it's really essential to slow down and seize a quiet moment to align ourselves so that we don't get caught up with the activity. and the trick is to find that joy during the preparation itself... which is not always apparent when your brain is so saturated and you feel that there's NO TIME to practice :(  i suppose the joy doesn't come from the activity itself, but the purpose behind it. things are so much more worth it when it's meaningful. so yes FOCUS FOCUS on what truly matters -  and i wont feel so bogged down.

and YES i will study because my grades are my responsibility as a student and i'm not about to squander my parents' CPF money to live as a student if i'm not gonna do well (at least decently la). BOOOO studying is such a drag :/  it's my weakness la studying. i'm so unmotivated. i rmb going thru a whole depressed pep talk to myself like before Alevels, just to talk myself into mugging for exams and telling myself it's not too late. OK so EIRENE LEE IT'S NOT TOO LATE YOU CAN STUDY IN 7 DAYS AND TAKE YOUR 6 EXAM PAPERS IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT. peng told me a most encouraging thing which would make my self-motivational statement valid - he said "God can make 6 days more fruitful than 7 days." meaning that God is all-powerful and i should trust Him that despite me not devoting my entire life to studies, he can make my limited mugging time more fruitful than if i neglected all else. so yes, i shall trust that God wil help me to understand what i need to understand for my exams.... and it's not the end of the world yet.