spectator or player?

Saviour

He can move the mountains

My God is mighty to save

He is Mighty To Save

Forever- Author of Salvation

He rose and conquered the grave

Jesus conquered the grave

so take me as you find me

all my fears and failures

fill my life again

i give my life to follow

everything i believe in

now i surrender

i surrender

there's a difference btw a believer and a follower. many assume beliving in smth is the same as following what you believe in. however commitment doesn't come naturally, it's a decision and a choice. so being a spectator in the stands is not the same as playing the game, training for it, persevering in it and building up your resilience to take the hard knocks. i really appreciated the analogy of the spectator vs player cuz of being a sportsperson. it's really smth you choose to want to work hard on it because it's never a given. you work hard or just be content with sitting on the stands.

i'm easily contented. it's not always a good thing. perhaps i can accept sitting out on the netball team (prob why i'm set to be 2nd team) but being a spectator of Christianity? no, i want to be a true follower. which means i can't be content with simply having the head knowledge, having the outward appearance of a follower, even being involved and doing what a committed person would do. because coming down for training is a minimum, but putting your heart into the training and going back to think about what you learnt and how to apply and having it fill your mind on your way back... that's passion.

i cried that sunday singing that song because i realised the word Saviour wasn't just a casual word. it's crying out "Saviour!" like, someone you trust totally and place your heart and life with. but the kicker was the next line: "MY GOD is mighty to save" because He isn't just anyone's saviour, He's My saviour. and it just struck me that i've no ownership in this relationship, how can i call him my saviour? oh and then when it went "Jesus conquered the grave" i just got overwhelmed with the awesomeness and how almighty He is... God has a way of doing that, showing just how GREAT He is. and it overwhelms you, because you know how unworthy you are.

so Vee was right, i felt estranged from God cuz i've been caught up in activity. so it's good to sing from your heart cuz God would use the song to "touch the recesses of your soul".

so i'll update how my new relationship is going soon... not boyfriend, but relationship with My saviour.



post-recess week

accomplished:

- 2 computer lab reports!

- copied my timetable into my personal diary

- brainstormed (a little) on my lit essay

to be accomplished:

- lit essay for wed

-study for organic chem test next mon

-study for intro to bio test next tues

-jonah outline for sunday sch by thurs

-medley auditions for next sat

 

a hug is all you need at the end of a crazy day:)

Let's not get lost and cry on Sundays

We'll take it a step at a time

Hand in hand

spoonful of honey

so honey does make you feel better! that and The Mentalist :)



the sharp knife of a short life

 

If I Die Young - The Band Perry

if I die young bury me in satin

lay me down on a bed of roses

sink me in the river at dawn

send me away with the words of a love song

ooh ooh ooh ooh

Lord make me a rainbow I'll shine down on my mother

she'll know I'm safe with you and she stands under my colors

oh and life ain't always what you think it ought to be

no ain't even gray but she buries her baby

the sharp knife of a short life

well I've had just enough time

if i die young bury me in satin

lay me down on a bed of roses

sink me in the river at dawn

send me away with the words of a love song

the sharp knife of a short life

well, i have just enough time

and I'll be wearing white

when i come into your kingdom

I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger

I've never known the lovin' of man

but it sure felt nice when he was holdin' my hand

there's a boy here in town

who says he'll love me forever

who would have thought forever could be severed

by the sharp knife of a short life

well I've had just enough time

so put on your best boys, and I'll wear my pearls

what i never did is done

a penny for my thoughts oh no I'll sell 'em for a dollar

they're worth so much more after I'm a goner

and maybe then you'll hear the words that I've been singin'

its funny when your dead how people start listenin'

if I die young bury me in satin

lay me down on a bed of roses

sink me in the river at dawn

send me away with the words of a love song

ooh ooh the ballad of a dove

go with peace and love

gather up your tears and keep them in your pocket

save em for a time when your really gonna need em.

oh the sharp knife of a short life

well I've had just enough time

so put on your best boys, and I'll wear my pearls



home is where the heart is

I love being at home. The thing about my place in Pasir Ris is that there's a whole lot of windows, which makes the whole house bright and breezy in the day. Most of my friends who have come over only see it in the evening, where the windows are all shut for fear of blood-sucking mosquitoes (that's the trouble of being right next to the Pasir Ris Park forest) and the flat is illuminated by flourescent artificial light. The closed windows also mean the place is pretty stuffy cuz we shifted the air-con units into the rooms, leaving the main hall devoid of alternative cooling system other than natural breeze or the humble standing fan.

But in the daytime, when we spend the most time out of the house, is such a glorious time to appreciate the soft glow of the warm-hued interior, as the sunlight falls flatteringly on the brown-and-white furniture and faux marble floor. I must admit most of the comfort I find in this house is the presence of clothes - washed and fresh out of the dryer, strewn on the sofa or neatly folded on the coffee table but unclaimed by their busy procrastinating owners. You can tell it's not exactly the neatest place but I guess we're all kinda used to the organized mess. And besides, the messiness of the place shows the life in the home (and also that we're too preoccupied to keep it spick-and-span). 

I simply love the warmth exuded from my humble home in this small cloister of Pasir Ris flats, and although I'm always oogling at Ikea showrooms and the minimalist neatness of new, young couple flats, there's no other place I'd call home. Even if I'm only home on the weekends!

See that's the reason why I'd never treat my hall room as home, despite the many photos I pasted up and my messy attempt to artistically fill up the white wall beside my bed with handwritten notes and the used packaging from birthday gifts. So,yes, I miss my own home too much to stay in hall to study the whole recess week, cuz besides not taking very well to the idea of being cooped up studying lonelily in my room, I need the comfort of home and family. And even though i'm home alone for now, it's still comforting to be in the familiar presence of clean, unkept clothes and madly stacked cushions on the sofa.

<3

this is my roomie melissa!! haha she's super cute and petite, and a hardcore anime and manga fan!!  was applying henna for her during our GBG (green block gang, the most awesome block in hall5!) mini oktoberfest hehe. it was fun, just lotsa beer n sauseges. the few of us went to hang out at some supposedly scenic spot, but apparently trees sprouted out of the hillside within a year and blocked the wonderful view.

ANYWAY i went for training today after a week of rest due to the sprained ankle. and WOW it was intense man, i ended training with a cramped calf (khai was like "see, the doctor say 2 weeks but you go n train then your leg liddat"). and i think i need to get new netball shoes! cuz i braked on the indoor court and my toenail jammed into my shoe and it HURTS now:/ but other than that i'm fine, my ankle's as good as new:) but i'll be laying off the heels for awhile to be on the safe side:) 

 i need to stop getting injured during training!!

khai bought me butterscotch bread

i'm actually running out of pictures to put on my blog. this is from fb!! heh. i love the whole album of me n michelle when we went back to vj after graduation (yes, in sch uniform, so cool right). we're gonna have an east-ie outing soon! so we can show Senior around the east, can you believe it, he hasn't tried Katong Laksa?!

i went to observe training today, cuz my ankle's still slightly swollen and i've been wearing the ankle guard everywhere. but i'm gonna take it off tmr so i don't get dependent. anyway it totally sucks to be at training but not train:( :( i really want to be back on the court!! it's like every training i miss is an entire skill that i'm lacking. at least i'm not missing team selections or smth, but the training is so intensive i feel that each session is so essential to my netball fundalmentals. but i know i won't impress anyone by training with a swollen ankle, and it won't help me either. so yes, i'll not train this week (SOB!!)

it's a good feeling to enjoy training so much that you miss it...