quick update

hey just to let everyone know - i wrote in to MOE asking if i could do contract teaching for a year while awaiting the next intake, so i can do the physical proficiency test in October 09. the next intake is sometime next year (probably earlier than this year's) so i should be starting my contract teaching soon. that is if they agree to sign me on. i asked if they could hold my place in the course too, so i don't have to re-apply. if they refuse my request to do contract teaching this year i'll just do the bio luh, meaning this year's intake. but they haven't sent any package yet so it's pretty impossible for me to enter uni at the end of the month!

anyway the biggest drawback to this situation is not being able to be room mates with Shell:( i'm really sorry my LL, i didn't expect my carelessness to affect our wonderful plan to spend our lives together!!

sigh it's not just that i'm leaving her in the lurch with some random stranger as a room mate but also cuz i really wanted to be able to spend that amount of time with her. it's gonna be hard to meet up now that we won't even be nearby each other, not to say not schooling together. Shell, how're we gonna meet up? :(

Negligence and Blurry Vision - can you see the future cuz i can't

a little carelessness goes a long way...

if i'd signed up and taken the physical proficiency test when i was applying for NIE i wouldn't be in this mess. now it's going to be alot more time and hassle to study to teach physical education, and like my aunt who spoke to the big shots told me "it's really based on your desire to be a PE teacher".

initially when i got the call informing me that i could not enter NIE specializing in PE, i just started blaming my prospective employers - "stooopid MOE go and offer me PE when i didn't even take the test and didn't even inform me that i had to take the darn test till it's too late". later on when my laywer aunt who has friends in the education line (the directors and such) told me it was NIE that was rather inflexible to my appeal i started blaming the school too - "so rigid! how can they do this! and i'm not the only case!"

but truth be told it was my own fault for overlooking that tiny blue underlined hyperlink on the application page that would've informed me to take the test before i could be eligible for entry. ARGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

now it's time to consider my options:
1. just go ahead and enter the teaching course this month, but doing biology instead

2. write in to apply to be a contract teacher for a year, hopefully they will hold my place in the course, take the physical test and enter uni next year studying PE

3. take a gap year, go work, take the test, enter uni next year - maybe by then i'll do smth else

4. continue screaming and pounding the table, maybe they'll feel my pain and let me (okay fine this option's not valid. quite tempting to do just that my manicured nails might suffer)

seriously option 3 would be fun, then i can do my coaching for my VJ netball juniors this year till next april without having to consider my uni schedule. sigh but i'll be a fool to let go of a scholarship too, and it's not that i detest teaching bio - i realised i've been thinking too much about the subject but in fact the main focus of the course would be the TEACHING. just that teaching PE feels totally different because it's not really academic and the reason why i wanted to do PE was the constant exposure i would have to sports. i mean the benefits of sports and games is something i sincerely believe in, not to mention it's fun and (i hope) enjoyable to teach. but what i failed to see was the need to look past the 4 year teaching bond that comes with the scholarship course - do i see myself teaching in the long term? what do i want to do after that?

somehow i don't like the idea of teaching for a year before going into uni, just to teach again for 4 years after that. what if i decide that teaching isn't my thing? or get bored of the whole education stint - it'll be 9 years of studying to be a teacher/actually teaching *pukes*. alright if i do take up this course now (option 1) it'll be 8 years of the above, just that it's bio not PE.

HOWNOWBROWNCOW! i'm talking myself into confusion....

anyway i had a chat with vee who could tell i was quite sad when i received the news from my aunt after she spoke to the asst. director guy who sent me the letter of appointment (i was so confused emotionally i wasn't sure if i was disappointed or just too tired to react - i think slightly disappointed but at least i knew the outcome of the appeal). so vee was telling me to think past the 4 year bond, that it would help my current situation decision making if i was clear about what i want to do. but more than that, whatever career move i make, there must be a purpose and not just going with the flow.. i tend to go with the flow, it's easier that way, think it's part of my lazy nature. NOT a good thing to be lazy - lazy until i forfeit my choices and desires. and vee said if i can't see past the 4 years in teaching, then trust God - to lead me where i will be happy doing His work. but whatever i do, i must have purpose, must have heart.

i have got some thinking to do, and i need to talk to my parents about my more current future, although i already have a slight suspicion on what the decision will be. i think this saga has made me reconsider what i really want, if sports is THAAAAT important to me. i would say it's a safer path to take, teaching PE, cuz sports is a definate interest of mine (so even if i detest teaching the fact that i'm immersed in sports would keep me going) BUT there are other ways to keep myself involved in sports, and in a useful manner. it's whether i want to go teaching at all (which i had initially jumped into since i thought i'd be teaching smth safely within my interests). it's a useful skill to learn, being a teacher, and there will be plenty of interaction with young people, plus it's a steady flow of youth to influence.

alright, all this thinking makes me hungry. update you all on my decision soon!

blogging suspended

i refuse to have a long post when i can't upload photos!!!! sigh. alot of outings and etc to blog about....

Happily Bruised Up

I've rekindled my love for East Coast and Katong!!! Yesterday i played host to my 3 friends from the west - Cherrie, Esther and Jin Yan, my awesome group mates from PLAYMAX!! (oops haven't blogged about that event yet). They stay pretty far west, like jurong and chua chu kang, so it's understandable that they've not been spending much time in the happening east-side of Singapore. So when we decided to go to ECP it wasn't me being lazy to travel ok, i really wanted to show them the exciting side of the island:D

We were supposed to go cycling after we had our subway lunch but we ended up going in-line skating *WOOHOO* i love roller blading!!! but unfortunately my dear friends didn't have much experience skating, so we were struggling for most of the 2 hours HAHAHA ie. walking more than actually skating. Until we discovered this awesome way of going like a little faster (than the painful snail pace we were going cuz Cherrie had never skated before, but she was doing great for a first timer la) - one person would skate while the other person just holds onto the skating person's bag and be pulled along!! yay smart right? that was what i thought until i lost balance and fell sprawling face first on the ground..... ARGH SO EMBARRASSING!! i mean cherrie who was holding onto me fell too, but she fell quite glam-ly at least! like seriously i landed on my stomach in the middle of the cycling track. cherrie felt really bad la but honestly skating with people who can't skate isn't fun if no one falls. and so that's how i got my bruises - they're really "orh" you know! (as in "orh-ceh" or blue-black) i've a really painful one on my hip and both my knees too, even though we were wearing knee pads. which is ok, i don't mind getting bruises (not too many or in obvious places of course) cuz it means i've been out and about, and anyway they usually can't be seen since i got my tan back haha.

After we returned the skates 40 minutes late (which the boss VERY kindly said it's ok he wouldn't charge us the $7 for the 3rd hour) we rested at macs before heading to the seaside. i think we missed the sunset while we were inside macs:( but playing at the beach was still pretty fun, we made sand animals HAHA a really cute turtle and a teddy-bear looking monkey, then decided to hop into the water and discovered it was actually warmer in the water than on land with the increasingly strong sea breeze we were getting. of course when we stepped out of the water we were freezing la, but before we did that we spent quite awhile in the choppy and very dirty waters. Like seriously it was littered with all sorts of nonsense - plastic bags, snack wrappers, plastic covers - and the water was so murky i couldn't see my hand if it was just beneath the surface. Somehow we found ourselves surrounded with lots of loose seaweed and leaves while standing on rough stones in the shallower end, which wasn't very shallow since it was high tide. And being on the receiving end of the waves wasn't exactly comfortable, it was really quite strong and we found ourselves having to brace ourselves for every wave, sometimes having to catch our breath after being hit, which wasn't pleasant cuz then you'd get a taste of the salty sea water.

Yet despite all these unfavourable conditions we actually had alot of fun in the water - we sat on the shallow end being battered by the waves, picked up the bigger stones from the very rocky beach and competed to see who could throw the furthest, throwing up our arms in glee like we were in a roller coaster everytime a big wave came to bash us. And when the sand in our pants became unbearable from being constantly washed ashore while sitting, we stood in the deeper waters (not too deep of course, es and cherr aren't too tall haha) and walked in a row along the shore, jumping at every big wave and tickling each other with the stray seaweed. when we finally came up out of the water when we felt too drenched and salted from the sea, we had like a million and one attempts at a nice jumpshot - like really, we were very persistent! sigh, but it was difficult to get the timing right with jy's lag camera, but at least we managed to have nice group shots!:) shall put it up when they're uploaded (it'll be up on fb first of course)

So we found that it was getting pretty dark after camwhoring by the sea, and walked over to the showers to wash up and change. and yes, you guessed it, we camwhored there too! Esther had this bright idea of using the mirror to take group photos (we found that the mirror was too murky to actually take reflective shots) with the help with my long arm to press the button heh. Until we figured we could just set the camera on timer! HAHA too bad the camera ran out of battery so we only had like ONE nice shot from the timer shots:/

Then we walked and took a bus down to Katong to eat Katong Laksa!! YAYY :D too bad it was late so most of the shops were closed, and the laksa shop itself was pretty empty. nevertheless the west-end ladies wanted to walk around to see the place cuz *gasp* they've never been to Katong before!!! Es kept saying how it looks like malaysia haha but i think these shophouses are one of a kind. we walked along the lanes peering into darkened shop windows, mostly only the food places were open, and the interesting small shops were all closed by then:( We passed the famous 5 star chicken rice stall and saw this small shop across the road,it had a quirky name "oompa loompa" and more importantly there was bright light shining thru its shop window! So desperate we were to enter a nice quirky shop in katong that we crossed the road and went to take a look. Turns out it was a gourmet chocolate shop which does customized choc designs too, and after chatting to the nice sales girl and her boss aka her brother, we discovered they stayed in the west too! like really close to cherrie, and they even went to nearby schools! so they had this nice long west-end chat while i chose ZO cards (they've such nice stock) and drooled over the chocolates on display. The boss was really good at PR and treated us to a piece of home-made choc, it was really good! In the end we all ended up purchasing some for ourselves (the boss gave us all 10% discount), I bought 4 for my parents who just returned from malaysia. After that yummy experience i was ready to go home, shower and rest my bruised body, but first i had to ensure the 3 west girls didn't lose their way home! Amazingly the boss offered them a ride home in his lorry, and more amazingly they accepted. No worries they got home safe, and before i reached home myself. (I decided to endure a long bus ride home cuz i spent my EZlink top up money on the choc and couldn't afford a train ride home)

After a long day out, it was just great to be able to shower (not before unloading my day's activities on my poor brother's aching ears while giving him a much needed shoulder rub) and sink into bed, slipping into a much deserved sleep...

Thanks for an awesome time babes, looking forward to seeing you this saturday!:)

Jocelyn's farewell (with photo updates)

After not seeing each other for a few months, it was good to be able to catch up with the team and talk about past present future (sorry i'm just so into this colour thing now). And as you can see we all had a dig at Therese's really cool shades (i want one!!!) which was just about the only bimbotic thing we did that night. ok besides trying to surprise Joce with this photo album thingy and tried to stall time to write in it by asking her to buy a slice of cake for June's birthday who wasn't coming (which didn't work out cuz poor Joce was smart enough to refuse to walk all over suntec looking for a lame slice of cake and just rest her tired legs at where we were supposed to meet)

and so after we all arrived (except of course the imaginary June who's being quarintined cuz she just came back from USA) we ordered and chatted and wrote in Joce's "surprise" book under the table - and that xueling who was sitting directly across her conveniently shook the pen in front of her!!!! -.-'' sigh but joce being so nice just kept quiet about it and pretended to be surprised when we passed it to her with the news that June was in quarintine and not coming hahha...

and so the night went on with an incredibly long table of people behind us celebrating someone's birthday and making so much noise i didn't feel embarrassed running around taking photos with the rest of the table. more photos!!!

Yes i know these are all on facebook which is how i get 90% of my photos anyway so go see ok? here's the nice group shot where clara looks incredibly tall (she's tiptoe-ing)

Been reading something about how each of our personal lives are part of a bigger story, a larger picture (no, nothing about group shots or camwhoring) and that even our gripes and complaints are used to greater effect in this narrative. Anyway i think if we really do think of our lives as a story it would make things more meaningful somehow, but kinda scary if you don't trust the one writing your life story - especially if it's yourself because i can't even count the times i've made a bad decision or needed guidance or been thrown into circumstances i couldn't get myself out of . But if you do know and trust the one writing your story then it'd make things alot less worrysome, like working towards a big exam or starting a new phase in life or simply getting thru the day, because you'd know the final outcome. Who's the author of your story?

I'M BACK

At the request of a dear friend i have decided to revive my poor blog HAHA. But at my own defence i was away for like 2 weeks without access to the internet ok! alright more like no time in between my Vacation Bible School(1-3 june), Leaders' retreat (5-8 june) and Leadership Training Camp (9-12 june). And what do you know, 2 weeks of the dreaded june hols have zoomed by....

Here's a summary for the clueless:

Vacation Bible School for kindy kids - 3 days of mad energy sapping dancing hi5ing singing act cute hair tying bird park outing feeling incredibly tall (more than usual at least) feeling like a big celebrity and understanding why childcare teachers go thru so much pain for the loveable tots:) and despite it being only a half day it just leaves everyone feeling so zapped, kids are just overflowing and abounding energy and joy. good thing they're so cute!

Salt and Pepper Youth Ministry leaders' retreat - 4 days of rest, lots of singing and singspiration, planning, praying, travelling to and from buona vista (thanks to the next camp's last prep meeting), good food, crazy laughing and dressing up with the bedsheets pretending its a sarong, ending up rofl when we had skits of unique n mostly embarrassing incidents to happen to some of us (this was during cg of course when the memebers travelled all the way to bv). precious teachings on unity, learning the value of quiet and rest. and that the bv prata can't be compared to the kallang one;)

Dunman Secondary School's Leadership Training Camp 2009 - 4 days of sleepless nights (not that i couldn't sleep cuz it wasn't my bed but that we COULDN'T SLEEP as there was so much to be done). Besides the packed schedule of activities in which the only time we had to really rest was the bus ride to and from the Jalan Bethra Adventure Centre in LIM CHU KANG aka the other side of the world (even my friends who stay in chua chu kang say it's horrendously ulu), i spent much of my time walking around in a sleepless daze. i must've looked pretty bad cuz at least 3 people would ask me 5 times daily if i was ok (so sweet right). most of the time i was pitying the poor campers and sub-com being shouted, scolded, screamed at, who had to scurry around like rats at a single command, and answer "yes, instructor" or "no, instructor". but i'm sure they had fun:) no, seriously, there's this bond you form with the people you suffer with, and whatever rivalries a group has within itself is easily dispelled when there's a common enemy. and despite the military treatment the activities they had were pretty fun, especially if you enjoy outdoor adventure stuff like rock climbing and kayaking. and the campfire night they had which my dept was i/c of (oh the horror) was really awesome, due to the fact that they were so enthusiastic about eveything! even the monotonous one-liners said by my poor nervous emcees. overall it was a good experience with my fellow alumni and juniors tho, and i got my tan back!! woohoo!:D

photo update later k!

i'm gonna scavange my home for some dinner now:)

Cycling and Being Alone

okay, before i say anything else, let me announce to everyone (just as i have already done on facebook) that I BROUGHT MY SISTER JOGGING YESTERDAY! for those who don't know my sister, the last time she ran (or did any similarly strenous activity) was in her JC years (that's more than 5 years ago hahahahaha whoops sorry 姐 age exposé!). but of course she's not been totally inactive, it's just that she isn't the sort who would go running or jogging on her own accord. so YEA it's rather AMAZING that she decided to run with me when i was in my go-jogging-after-work mood, 姐 i'm so proud of you! (and of myself, of course). i think the healthy lifestyle bug finally rubbed off on her, cuz my bro had just gone jogging and i was about to go too.Seems like the people around me are all starting this get-fit routine, going running or swimming or gym-ming or even brisk walking occasionally! and so when i was done cleaning the house, or what my domesticated housewife part of me was inclined to do on my day off, i decided to go cycling on the old mountain bike which i'd cleaned earlier. (yes kor i actually cleaned the muddy bike, the mud you see on the tyres now is from MY cycling trip the next day) And i couldn't be bothered to actually call anyone out just to cycle around for an hour or 2 (see that's the trouble of living in such an ulu part of pasir ris) so i actually went alone. Armed with my phone and music and my over-stretched headband to keep my specs on my face, i embarked on the most courageous expedition since shopping in bugis during peak hour on a friday night.

Alright honestly it wasn't particularly adventurous cuz all i did was cycle through pasir ris park and on the park connector towards sun plaza park. (AWW yea so loser!) i actually intended to cycle all the way to bedok reservoir but it was getting dark and i was getting hungry (HAHA seriously! and i didn't bring any cash out to buy food so yea).

the fact is i haven't had the chance to be alone much for the past few... months actually. i've been surrounding myself with people and activity and friends and events - no time to really have some time out to pause and reflect. i suppose being a sanguine or someone who thrives on having company, it's so natural to want to spend every moment with someone or doing something - i guess it's the usual perspective of making use of one's time. but i merely neglected the fact that solitude and reflection is so necessary for a productive life as well. if not i'll tend to lose focus on why i'm doing stuff.

anyways i found this amazing little bike trail area off the pasir ris/tampines expressway (i always find it hard to describe this - it's at the T-junction just before you turn into the avenue that LEADS into the road that turns into tampines central). it was so amazing! all natural tracks, not concrete, the only gravel was the patch before the sign that read "beware - challenging trail ahead please wear helmet and proper safety gear". oh and i only found that sign after i came out of the trail. i attempted to ascend this low hill (yes, a hill! how cool is that, and in some urbanised regional hub) on my bike, which got stuck on the muddy tracks until i gave up and pushed half the way up. i didn't go to the very top cuz scare-dy me saw the approximate distance i could fall down the steep side and got so discouraged by the thought of pushing another few rounds around that mound in the muddy soil, so i turned back (which meant it was down hill so i could bike down woohoo!). but the best part is that the place smelled like CAMERON HIGHANDS!you know the fresh hilly smell of wild grass after a shower, with the fresh air which somehow has a hint of cinammon... i love that place, i miss my childhood holiday getaway!!

So i've decided that i'll go back there to explore, and maybe bring a friend or 2 so in case i fall down and break my leg, there'll be someone to drag me out of the thicket.(really, when i was speeding down the slopes every bump made me imagine this amazing flying-off-bike scene cuz of the rocky track) and there're other safer ways to spend time alone:)

But other than that exciting bit thru the dangerous bike trail, the "boring" parts through pasir ris park was really good too. got a chance to experience the beautiful scenery and God-created nature, it's really true that "since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse" (Romans 1:20) it's really undeniable that God exists and that He's superbly creative and really powerful too, after experiencing the beauty of CREATION omg!! it's so AWESOME - look at the sky and sea and greenery - or better yet, catch a sunrise or sunset...breath-taking:)

what i did on my day off

i donated blood yesterday!!!!! there's a needle-sized scab on my right arm (what do you call the underside of the elbow? elbow-pit?) to prove it and a purple bandage that i wore around town yesterday but my com's bluetooth isn't working so i can't upload the pictures SIGH. (and no cable too, my phone camera album is bursting cuz i can't upload any photos i've taken urgh!) Michelle and i actually made the trip down to Outram just to donate blood yesterday morning - after weeks of not having a common day off we finally managed to meet for an overdue LL date! (LL's just a term michelle and i use to refer to each other - go figure) Originally it was Zoe who asked me to go donate blood with her on tues morning when we were out with the serve people for dinner on mon at tamp1 (AGAIN), but last minute she couldn't make it, so it was just M and me. she'd been dying to donate blood since she'd been rejected 3 times previously hahahaha and i never had the opportunity to donate blood (always had training that same day, scared not enough blood to last me thru training haha).

SO we arrived at Outram Park MRT and we had a bite and a drink to help michelle put on a few grams to pass the weight requirement (have to be at least 45kg to donate) before we went into the blood donation place. okay i was like some idiot fumbling through the questionnaire and tests, not knowing where to go etc. M said by the time i finished filling up the mandotary form all the water she drank would've evaporated HAHA. aiyah i was being thorough, and couldn't remember if i'd gone overseas in the past 3 years (i concluded that i haven't, so sad right?). anyway, M failed the heamoglobin test (not enough iron in her blood) so she couldn't donate, leaving me to go thru the scary part of the ordeal myself! okay it wasn't really scary, the nurses and all were really nice, even though my finger's still bruised from where i was pricked for the heamoglobin test. the anesthetic jab feels like an ant bite (not the painful red ant kind) and the actual needle that's poked in for blood doesn't hurt, just feels slightly uncomfortable (duh, there's a needle in my arm dude!) but bearable la. (honestly after experiencing menses cramps anything is bearable.) the whole thing was over in 15 min, didn't know my blood was so dark red! i didn't feel woozy or anything, probably cuz they made me rest in the chair for another 10min before the kind nurse, this chinese auntie, carried off my bag of blood and wrapped me up - i asked for a purple bandage in the cutest voice i could muster. then she sent me off to the cafe for refreshment, and i took my muffin and milo and went out to find michelle. overall it was a good experience la, i guess it always feels good knowing you potentially saved a life. of course the experience of saving a soul is irreplaceable.

After the life saving deed we went to Plaza Sing to watch X-men origins Wolverine! but not before our tuesday half price waffle YAYYYY. And since i'm so broke M practically paid for all my expenses the whole day la, even my EZ link top up. AWWWW my best portable atm! LULL<3>

Those I Grew Up With

long overdue post

I just read a blog post of one of my netball junior's, and i felt this rush of emotion (alright i admit the emotion would have rushed better if my head wasn't like a stone block right now from staying up just to finish up my LTC proposal). yea it was the same emotion that stopped me from blogging about that last 2 matches - although i really wanted to say almost ANYTHING that would cheer up my girls after the AJC match... But i realised it was just better to give them some time to let things settle down in their mind first rather than drown them in words of "it's okay" cuz obviously at that point in time it's not okay and everyone needs time to cry, even for a moment.

It's not a weakness to cry, it's an outlet for emotions to be expressed when words can't do it cuz your mind's too distraught to even comprehend the need for tears. I used to think that it's useless to cry because crying doesn't help anything or make things better, and i guess i use that logic now to stop myself from crying unnecessarily, but honestly all girls know that crying brings such relief sometimes. (and it's the best weapon against clueless guys HAHA) so sob your heart out girls, but remember not to let your emotions cloud your logic! emotions are such a tricky thing, especially when hormones and mood swings come into play.

ANYWAY i said to my juniors what i wanted to tell them already, wrote them personal notes of encouragement and thanks and other important stuff tho not related directly to netball. And seriously i miss them already, even though i haven't seen them for merely 4 days and i'm actually seeing them tmr! it's like missing them in advance, cuz i know i won't be seeing them that often, the seniors at least, and i don't have much reason to be part of their life anymore... which is sad when i put it that way but i really want to be more than a senior, more than a coach, but someone who takes a sincere interest in their lives - not just the part related to their performance on court. 

hey, when i say i love you girls i really mean it, more than a mere feeling of attachment or pride. i really wish i had more time to get to know you all personally, individually - you are all so unique and different! 

i super appreciate the support you all gave me and the contributions and sacrifices each of you made for this team. i'm really proud of you girls! and i'm proud to be related to this team, it's been awesome:)

An Amazing Team

i love you girls very much:)

Touch of Magic

I feel so artsy HAHAHA I watched this quaint french movie at the picture house last night, Magique, about this single mom and her young obedient lonely sensitive son. The scenery was seriously stunning, countryside and farmland and starry night sky... made me want to live in some farm forever!

The funny part was when the boy burst into quiet song HAHAHAHAHHA it was very sweet but i got a shock la! it wasn't the Sound Of Music kind la, more natural and like singing to himself, and the lyrics were quite touching but it kinda spoiled the experience that had to refer to the subtitles. Oh ya the bursting into song thing happens throughout the movie. But don't be discouraged from watching the movie la you'll feel more cultured after a good dose of french!!

VJNB

Okay so my biological clock has rewired itself such that i can't sleep even when it's past midnight and i'm not even stressed or anything! Great excuse to get on facebook and start blogging:)

If you don't know already, I've been going down to my old school, VJC aka the best school in the world, to help out with my juniors in the netball team ie. VJNB (victoria JC netball). Honestly, i'm not much of a netball coach (and i'm a really terrible umpire too, i went for this umpiring course and they told me i'd find some upper primary games a challenge to umpire - that's how terribly low my standard is!) but i figured my juniors just need someone to be there, and we can work things out together. Anyway they've a certain level of experience and expertise so i was sure they'll have an idea of what needs to be done, what they need to work on. Thus i was constantly asking them what they want to do for the next training, and of course i relied heavily on my teacher i/c for advice even though she's also known as the busiest woman ever (try taking charge of 5 CCAs - it's no joke!). I guess it's rather natural for a diplomatic person like myself to be open to suggestions, and especially when I've not too much confidence in what I'm doing!

It's really not my style to be domineering or aggressive in how i coach, or lead - thinking back on how i fared as a netball captain, i really was kinda "soft" in a sense, i didn't like to force or push anyone - and sometimes i think if i was harder on the team then, displayed and expected more discipline, my netball experience would've been richer than a dim feeling of what could've been. No doubt we didn't merely train just to win, but the fact that we were closer to our own classmates rather than each other, being team mates, left me with that nagging sense that i could've, should've done MORE to bring the team together, bonding, share more of our lives on and off the court.

To my 08 netballers, may there be opportunities yet for us to get to know each other better, to share more than just the name "team mates" . May we not lose this friendship we first forged under blazing sun, soaking rain, and even the starry night sky:)

This team that i'm coaching now (or as an acting coach of some sort, yes literally acting sometimes) is a real close knit group. Though far from being the ya-ya sisterhood kinda close (impossible with 12 people), these girls have taught me first hand what it means to be a unit, a Team. Different personalities, characters, mindsets - yet brought together by a common purpose to excel in their chosen field of sport. Always, they impress me with their never-say-die attitude, endless encouragement, and their ability to stay cool under pressure. The jovial atmosphere and peals of laughter that accompany each training session just shows how much they enjoy each others' company - just as i enjoy theirs!

My dear juniors, the reason why i came back to help wasn't merely to enjoy your company, or sustain my interest or involvement in netball. The reason was to let you know that it's pointless to chase after achievements, which many do and find it satisfactory - but only for a little while. Even the close friendships forged now may not last, because human love disappoints; ironic that i should say that because i know many times we push ourselves to the limit so as not to let the team down. But far from being cynical or pessimistic, i want you to know that there's more to life, something bigger, on a grander scale than we can ever imagine - a purpose worth living for, a love that's worth dying for.

hello world!

okay, i finally made a blog! decided to keep up with the scores of friends i have pouring their lives into their blogs, updating and penning down their innermost thoughts for all to see. well i tried keeping a physical journal but failed terribly, hoping that this blog doesn't rot away like my poor diary did.

so YAY! here's to the irrepressible effect of peer influence and the lure of the online craze - i shall be spending more time glued to the computer now!