usually can't stay emo for long

ok ALERT to MICHELLE ANN ROZARIO that the following post talks about GOD. (never thought you'd see your name in the same sentence as His right?)

Breathe On Me Now - Kathryn Scott (link!)

When my soul has cried its tears
And my heart begins to faint
Will You draw near
Will You meet with me

When my days are filled with longing
And my spirit groans and waits
Will You draw near
Will You meet with me

I'm calling and waiting
Your presence Lord is life to me

Breathe on me now as I bow down
I'm desperate Lord for more of You
Come satisfy until I
Am even more in need of You

When my dreams have been forgotten
And my hope begins to fade
Will You draw near
Will You meet with me

When my days are filled with searching
And my strength has given way
Will You draw near
Will You meet with me 

i immediately felt it when i was sincerely replying a friend bout how i was doing. i mean i'm alright, but then i started thinking about the stuff that's happened the past weekends and how i've been avoiding even thinking about it, about THEM. and then i thought what a lousy job i've been doing. then i felt emo and started searching for really emo songs on my sister's playlist (HAHA says alot bout her). but somehow emo songs are always about heartbreak and lost love etc, which isn't what i'm emoing about! 

then i found this song and thought, maybe, what i was upset about wasn't the heart of the matter. i feel insecure and useless and unworthy and dumb BUT i figured the REAL issue is how i've been casually putting off meeting up with the ONE person who can make me feel loved and secure and useful and able. and i guess the distance has kinda taken a toll, i can feel the hunger pangs and gastric juices and weakening of... my spirit. i'm talking about that overwhelming emptiness that comes when you put off being distracted for awhile.. and BAM! it hits you, then washes over you and you scramble for the emo music to distract you again.

so as uncomfortable the song lyrics may be to some, this is the song that is appropriate for my emo-ness this time. its the only type of emo-ness that REALLY affects me you know...

Will You draw near
Will You meet with me